Subscribe to Wordpress Themes Demo

i'm not gonna pitying myself . I'm not gonna tearing myself.i'm not gonna killing myself and i'm not gonna broken just because a childish little devil like you, miss .

I'd love to if i must pull out your tongue, but i won't
it would be honoured , when i kick your butt and see you vanished at the end of the world, but i can't . Not because i'm too kindhearted , don't want to see others feeling sorry .

So NEVER MIND . I'm okay, alright ?

di 8:14 PM
| 0 komentar
it's like scrambled egg

imagination makes my brain works harder. Always, in a sec , in a minute, in an hour, my life is filled by own imagination. It doesn't look like a 'how does it feel if i were. . ' but my imagination is prefer to be pretended like scrambled egg , full of stories i created and they mix all together.. My stories are also like tangled yarn. You'll never find where the story start or when it ends. I keep it as short story without prolog or even epilog.

To make one story in my mind doesn't acquire too many things to do. Reflect the reality into a scene of your fantasy. I'm as the director, i'm as scripwriter, i'm the main character, and i'm the only who have the control how the story should be. I really don't know when exactly started this imaginative mind i only believe that this is the way how to control myself from insanity. I do enjoy being geek. Keeping my imagination alive.

di 6:13 AM
| 0 komentar
take it easy , girl . don't cry ...

there are some things trouble me instead of letting me take a rest for a while. i know it was just me that pretend to be complex in this kind of holly things. i'm an immature person. when troubles face me and i don't have anything to defense , I would die. it's not like it's really near to the death by just trying to solve my problem. but sometimes , it works. feeling like dying and suffered and making a decision to surrender. i did it and after that the pain of giving up came. that was all i got after i let my desire to give in fill my mind.

but how the ways i can choose rather than face it and struggle ? i know it.

so, take it easy, girl . don't cry. don't make it be burden and bothering your way.

di 8:35 PM
| 0 komentar
those inspiration on the sky ...

things won't be completed arousing our passion once they don't get any soul in the way they've been taken. Thank you to Earth for giving me such a beautiful skies to be memorized ....











Every sight of the earth is the painting for me. Everything could be drawn in every way we want.
do you know what is the biggest canvas around the world ? i called it "the sky". See? there's no border between one to the other side. And the paint ? it has clouds for white, rainbow for all colours.

di 3:14 AM
| 0 komentar
when the last page comes ...

you never gonna stop in the traffic until you've got your last destination. there are so many ways to draw how human do their life in "humanic" part. having wasted my time in no condition, i got myself so terrific with how scary the life it is if we can compare it in such different point of view. each human has their own lifetime. who knows the duration of it ? no one. well, some people is granted by a "special" ability to guess the strange thing that might be happen but consider it with human's age, those abilities are nothing. people has no right for requesting their duration of life, even not a bit. it's just like you're reading a book and you want to sneak a peek the last page to know how the ending like , but for human's soul , you can't just do like that. the one that human can do is letting the pages pass until it stop in the last page. when you stop on the last page, you have been decided for your next destination.

well, can you imagine this earth as the trunks and we the human as the leaves in tree part ? it's similiar with that. leaves live with standing on the trunks and the trunks keep their life with the meals that leaves produced. the connection between those two has stuck in the way. no bargain. but leaves has a bit of differences instead of the trunks. leave hang on the trunks as possible as it can and soon for a reason, it must allow itself for falling apart. it's same as human and earth. there's a time for human to leave it. but each leave has its own way for falling to the ground. some leave fell when they started old and yellowish but the rest of them have to crash landed even they are still fresh green. the truth that they have to fall so tough is making me horrible. like a human, some of them die in their "time" but the rest of them leave the earth in such wrong time and something like that

i wrote this post not because i'm terrific about my life itself. no, i'm in usual condition though. i just had a little bit sadness considering how fast people whom i know had have their last page of life. in this early of september, i've lost two figures that i know. well, their are actually not included as my family but still, they had their own color that help me much. the thing that shocked me was i didn't have any feeling that they would be gone so fast. especially for my teacher. the last time i met him when we got lesson at friday, three days before the accident. and how ridicolous it was when we started to learn about the reincarnation, life and things about that ( we got religion lesson). and the new came to me at sunday in the afternoon. that was so frightening, my brain was blank and i did nothing. just clueless. i felt so guilty remembering everything that i've done. cheating in his class , chatting with loud voice, reading comic even in front of him, playing my mobile , talking behind him and my teacher still treating me and my friends good. but now , he's left and I've lost my chance to say sorry or even just a last greeting. we couldn't attend his funeral because it held on in malang. and of course we couldn't afford it. but for the last time, i just wanna give you my sincere farewell , my teacher. thank you for everything. see you at next life.

di 1:05 AM
| 0 komentar
letter


Bandar Lampung, 1 September 2010


Dear someone out of there,

I've tried to be better to you.
I've tried to surrender for you
I've tried to be blind from your egoistic
i've tried to be deaf from your poisonous words

I've acted like I'm the shield and you're the sword
I've acted like I'm the mom and you're the kid
I've acted like I'm the plague and you're the oasis
I've acted like I'm the dead one and you're the alive one

but why do I must to remember everything you have done to me ? No, thank you. Enough or i'd rather be killed if i must feel it once again. yesterday was yesterday. today is today. and tomorrow will be tomorrow. Now I'm pretending you're not insane and stop your grumbles. Thank you.

sincerely ,

someone inside of there

di 11:03 PM
| 0 komentar
the meaning of flowers : ROSES

i love natural ways. and that's why i always admire all of flowers in this world. people usually confess their feelling with a very long long sentence until they know they've told it. but flowers make it simple. they can cut off all those long sentence into one word that has full of meanings. I love the philosophy of it. it's like every words that just keep in our throats can be replaced so easily by using the meaning of flowers.

i found out a website that shows every kinds of roses complete with its meaning. here it is the link : http://www.rosaflora-flowers.com/meaning-of-roses.html . there are so adorable kinds of roses that really amazed me . here they are :

1. Red Roses




















Red roses convey a simple message: "I love you". This makes them the ultimate symbol of romantic love and the most popular choice on Valentine’s Day. Other meanings for red roses include desire, passion, courage, respect, beauty and sincerity. A red rosebud symbolizes purity and loveliness.


2. Coral Roses













Coral roses speak of desire and passion.


3. Lilac or Lavender Roses















Lilac roses reveal love at first sight or enchantment.


4. Orange Roses














Orange roses communicate desire, enthusiasm and fascination. They make an excellent choice for a new relationship that you wish to pursue further.

5. Peach Roses















Peach roses express gratitude, appreciation, admiration or sympathy. They can also convey sociability and friendship and send the message "Let's get together". A pale peach rose symbolizes modesty.

6. Pink Roses















In general, pink roses symbolize grace, gentility and happiness and express appreciation and gratitude.


7. Pale Pink Roses














Pale pink roses connote grace, joy, gentility and gratitude.

8. Light Pink Roses












Light pink roses suggest happiness and fun. Like all pink roses, they also convey admiration and appreciation.

9. Deep Pink Roses
















Deep pink roses say "Thank you". They also express appreciation, admiration, sincerity and sympathy.

10. White Roses












Second only to red roses in popularity, white roses symbolize truth and innocence. They also represent silence, secrecy, reverence, humility, youthfulness and charm. You can use them to say, "You're heavenly", "I miss you" and "I’m worthy of you". A white rosebud symbolizes girlhood.

11. Yellow Roses











Yellow roses symbolize friendship and freedom, so are not specifically romantic roses. They convey congratulations, joy, gladness and delight. But they also promise a new beginning, say "Welcome back" and "Remember me", and can convey jealousy and caring. Yellow roses with red tips convey friendship and falling in love.

12. Dead Roses












Dead roses in any color convey "It's over!"


i don't know if there's more kind of roses but i don't post them. later, i'll make sure myself to post again others flowers. could you see how wonderful they are ?

di 2:24 AM
| 2 komentar