you never gonna stop in the traffic until you've got your last destination. there are so many ways to draw how human do their life in "humanic" part. having wasted my time in no condition, i got myself so terrific with how scary the life it is if we can compare it in such different point of view. each human has their own lifetime. who knows the duration of it ? no one. well, some people is granted by a "special" ability to guess the strange thing that might be happen but consider it with human's age, those abilities are nothing. people has no right for requesting their duration of life, even not a bit. it's just like you're reading a book and you want to sneak a peek the last page to know how the ending like , but for human's soul , you can't just do like that. the one that human can do is letting the pages pass until it stop in the last page. when you stop on the last page, you have been decided for your next destination.
well, can you imagine this earth as the trunks and we the human as the leaves in tree part ? it's similiar with that. leaves live with standing on the trunks and the trunks keep their life with the meals that leaves produced. the connection between those two has stuck in the way. no bargain. but leaves has a bit of differences instead of the trunks. leave hang on the trunks as possible as it can and soon for a reason, it must allow itself for falling apart. it's same as human and earth. there's a time for human to leave it. but each leave has its own way for falling to the ground. some leave fell when they started old and yellowish but the rest of them have to crash landed even they are still fresh green. the truth that they have to fall so tough is making me horrible. like a human, some of them die in their "time" but the rest of them leave the earth in such wrong time and something like that
i wrote this post not because i'm terrific about my life itself. no, i'm in usual condition though. i just had a little bit sadness considering how fast people whom i know had have their last page of life. in this early of september, i've lost two figures that i know. well, their are actually not included as my family but still, they had their own color that help me much. the thing that shocked me was i didn't have any feeling that they would be gone so fast. especially for my teacher. the last time i met him when we got lesson at friday, three days before the accident. and how ridicolous it was when we started to learn about the reincarnation, life and things about that ( we got religion lesson). and the new came to me at sunday in the afternoon. that was so frightening, my brain was blank and i did nothing. just clueless. i felt so guilty remembering everything that i've done. cheating in his class , chatting with loud voice, reading comic even in front of him, playing my mobile , talking behind him and my teacher still treating me and my friends good. but now , he's left and I've lost my chance to say sorry or even just a last greeting. we couldn't attend his funeral because it held on in malang. and of course we couldn't afford it. but for the last time, i just wanna give you my sincere farewell , my teacher. thank you for everything. see you at next life.
